Ready for it? YOU DON'T NEED TO PICK OUT YOUR PUPPY IN PERSON.
“I’m out!” You say when I make it clear that I do not allow home visits and the person with the most decision-making power in picking out a puppy is me. This is a hard line for many people in the puppy-buying process. I get it - it seems foolish trusting a complete stranger to make such a big (and expensive!) decision. So I have devoted my next post to explaining my perspective.
It is often the case that a conscientious breeder will not allow visitors to their property. This is for several practical reasons. In the first place, many breeders, and I am included in this group, raise their puppies in their homes where their children live. Inviting strangers into the home puts them at risk and invades the family’s privacy. Then there’s the matter of biosecurity. Years ago, when I still allowed home visits, someone walked in kennel cough and all of my dogs came down with the beastly illness. This person had no idea and it was certainly not intentional, but the damage was done. Then there’s the simple fact that the world has gone whackadooo and it is not uncommon for puppies to be stolen. In our case, my husband and I simply do not want to put our family and our animals at risk. And in a world where everything is on display and laid out on social media for complete strangers to use as they like, we put a high value on our family’s privacy.
The second part is more nuanced, and quite frankly, counter-cultural. I have been breeding dogs for 10 + years. In my experience, both in allowing people to visit and pick their puppies (before having my own kids) to having me advise and select puppies for people, the results speak for themselves. A good breeder who is well-informed on their breed, their specific dogs, temperament evaluation, understanding people and what they are looking for and how that translates, and being the one that is there observing and interacting with the pups from the moment they are born, I am in the best position to select the right puppy for the right people. I’ll paint a few scenes for you that I hope will be illuminating.
1: “The Universe Has it All In Hand!” Scene. “I NEED to pick my puppy out, because I must have the puppy that bonds with me. I let the puppy choose ME!”Person #1 visits and is overwhelmed by the delightful little puff balls that eagerly greet them. Six beautiful puppies, all indiscriminantly vying for their attention. After 10 minutes, it becomes clear that there are two pups that are at the front of the pack and are so eager, so enthusastic, sooooooooo in love with you. Those are the two to choose from! The others have sat back and/or decided to lay down and take a nap. PROOF, if further proof were needed - they do not feel the bond. So it’s between the pushy two. Then one little leading lady (yes, it’s
almost always a female pup) decides she’s had enough of competing for affection, and she resolutely puts the other pushy guy in his place before resuming her gushing attentions on
the family. THERE IT IS!!!!! That’s the ONE! “She chose ME!” WRONG, wrong, and wrong again. Puppies don’t choose anything. That little nugget that has so relentlessly pursued your attention and forced her siblings to give up the chase has zero special affinity for you. She’s just the top dog in her litter, with the most energy and drive, and the other pups that are napping are just more mild-mannered and don’t have the tenacity to compete with her. She would behave that way no matter who came along. Don’t take it personally, but it has nothing to do with your special universe vibes you think you’re giving off.
Now here’s the question, Family #1 - are you prepared to outlast that pushy, relentless, opinionated puppy? Or are you all more like the puppy sitting off to the side thoughtfully watching and waiting for his chance to engage with you once his sister’s attention is focused elsewhere? Inevitably in these instances, I end up having to push back on people and explain that the puppy that has “chosen” them, is actually the worst possible choice for the “laid back couch potato lawn-mowing companion” they’ve requested. But here we are again, me with my head throbbing, trying to discourage them from making a terrible choice that will end up at best, being an uphill battle for the first couple of years with much hair-tearing and inappropriate choice words for the little monster. I must now work in overdrive to overcome your preference. “Ohhh that one? That’s Pigpen. She’s a filthy little mongrel that eats her own poop and has a penchant for rolling in day-old road kill. You don’t want HER! Oh definitely don’t let her lick your face, you’ll end up with pentapoxbrellosis (????) Never heard of it? Oh, well, it’s a serious condition you oughtn’t take a chance! Put the puppy down, man! Your life is at stake!!!!!!!! Now, where were we? Oh! See that charming little guy laying over there just watching you patiently and maybe lightly chewing on a stuffy? THAT puppy poops rainbows and sings ‘You Are my Sunshine’ on cue!!!!” Obviously, I hyperbolize, but you get the drift.
2: The “I’m the Monkey-in-the middle” scene. This scenario happens often, and it always vexes me to no end. Family #2 takes a whole Saturday to drive 3 hours to see this beautiful litter. They arrive, expectations are high, they see the pups and immediately cry out “Awwwwwwwwwwwwwww……”. It’s all down hill from there.
The puppies are all as cute as buttons, and…..NAP TIME!!!!!! They’re snoozing. Because they are little babies, and like human babies, when they’re tired, they’re tired and they are going to stop and drop where they stand and sleep for an hour or two. Eating, pooping, and playing are hard work, man. Digesting that dead frog they found an hour ago during their morning romp is real work! Time to recharge the battery. An earthquake and a volcanic eruption could simultaneously be happening around them and they wouldn’t rouse. What a disappointment! “What’s wrong with these puppies? They’re so lethargic!” Says mom. “Are they sick?” Asks dad. “They are not very interested in us!” The 15 year old pulls out their smart phone to show the 13 year old a tic tok video of a monkey riding a border
collie. Much more entertaining than these lazy, sick, lethargic, uninterested, worthless puppies. How awkward! So now I have to launch into an explanation of how they are not sick, they are healthy. They are not disinterested, they are taking a nap. They are not lazy, they expend so much energy they need to nap on a regular basis. Sorry for your wasted drive, but now we have to either wait them out, or I have to compensate by babbling on at a million miles an hour about each puppy’s temperament that is NOT on display at the moment and pushing through people’s disappointment and lack of enthusiasm. And then I’m grumpy, because instead of taking an hour, we have to wait around for awhile and this visit is taking two or three hours and that hen house isn’t gong to clean itself and I wanted to make myself an iced coffee to give me a pick me up since I’ve been up since 5:00 am and it’s now 2 pm, but the ship has sailed because if I have my iced coffee now, I’ll be up all night…..wait! I still have people here I need to talk to because these little fluffy cute turds are dead to the world. SCREW YOU, PUPPIES!!!!! And thus, I’m the monkey-in-the-middle betwixt a disappointed family and the unabashedly snoozing pups. And monkey is the right word - it’s my own darned fault for not anticipating this whole scenario! So that’s always fun.
3) The Window Shopping Scene. Now this one REALLY puts a bee in my bonnet. Family #3 shows up, after a self-proclaimed “serious inquiry.” They spend an hour or two playing with the puppies, enjoying themselves. As they prepare to leave, they say something like, “We REALLY like your puppies, but we have several other litters of various breeds to visit before we decide.” Oh, really? Well, it was awfully considerate of you to inform me AFTER you wasted my time throwing yourself your own personal puppy party. If you haven’t decided on
a breed yet, playing with a bunch of puppies is not a good way to make that decision. More often than not and regardless of their breed, healthy puppies will be outgoing, happy-go-lucky little fluff balls eager to engage with you. You are not going to learn about the various breeds by interacting with a bunch of puppies. If you really are trying to discern the best breed for your family, the best way is to do your research and speak to qualified breeders. If they are good at their job, they will be forthcoming about their breed’s temperament, genetics, and history, and they will truthfully advise you on whether it’s the best fit. As stated in my previous post, please be HONEST about where you are in the puppy-buying process. If you aren’t committed yet, don’t act like you are. There’s nothing wrong with being undecided, and I’m more than happy to discuss the breed with you!
To Sum Up:
1) People generally have no idea what they are looking at in a litter. That’s not meant to be an insult, it’s the reality about most things - the people that spend all day every day doing something are going to have more valuable insight on the subject than your average person. Evaluating drive, temperament, etc. does require skill and more than an hour on one day to accomplish. Find a breeder you trust who takes this seriously. Breeders can show you a lot with weekly photos and videos. We will advise you and guide you in the right direction. You’ll thank us later, trust me!
2) Time is not your friend here. You are seeing a tiny glimpse during your visit, and it might not actually be providing you with an accurate picture of the pups in a litter - this is most obvious when it’s nap time. But even if they aren’t napping, you are not getting anything close to the whole picture. The breeder has been there since the moment each puppy was born and we start observing right away with every interaction. I know it’s counter-intuitive for most people, but our opinion SHOULD count for more than yours! It’s what we do, and it’s a big part of what you pay for. And if we are really good at our job, we will include you in our assessments and counsel you so together we can make the best decision. I look at choosing a puppy as a collaboration, with an emphasis on my own educated opinion.
3) Any “breeder” that says that you will be happy with any puppy from any of their litters is either dishonest, doesn’t know how to evaluate their puppies, or both. I know that sounds harsh, but it is true. I will extrapolate that point further in another post, but what makes a “good breeder” is complex and multifaceted.
So give it some thought, as you mull over your upcoming puppy purchase. What are you REALLY looking for in a pup, and what role does the breeder play? If you want to give yourself the best chance of acquiring that exceptional companion who is a natural fit for your life, the breeder ought to play the biggest role in the decision-making process - just my two cents on the subject.
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